childhood is meant to be a time filled with happy memories
all i remember from my childhood is my mum falling apart
falling in love with someone who just destroyed her more
losing everyone who truly did love her.
i tried to help. i really did.
i told you that i loved you, that you had to stop drinking. that it’s going to kill you.
if i have children i want them to meet you, but at this rate they never will.
depression and sadness does funny things to people.
you turn to coping mechanisms that aren’t healthy for you.
but you can never get help until you admit it.
you are an alcoholic.
you and i both know it.
you chose a man over your own son,
you sat and listened to him in bed
telling him that if your son ever came home how he would stab him
and you just let it happen
you let your only son run in fear.
i know you don’t have time for me anymore,
so i don’t have the time for you either.
i guess this is growing up
and part of that is letting go.