how do you say goodbye? how do you tell someone you love them when it’s never been the type of relationship you’ve had? how are you supposed to know when might be the last time you see someone?

i’m so proud to have someone who tells me they’re proud of me, that others would be proud of me. i might not know what to say all the time, the conversation to make because i’m not good with sports. i’m not good with awkward conversation. i just know that me being there means something to you.

you were given eight months ago about 14 months ago. so even then you’ve beaten the odds. to be told you would never walk again and go completely smash that with your determination. i don’t know how i’m going to cope. i don’t want to have to say goodbye.

the thought of you being in a nursing home breaks me. i know that you hate the idea. i know that you’re stubborn and you’ve said no. but i also know there is no other choice. i wish i could help. i wish i could do something.

goodbye seems so final. in this situation it is so final. i know that i will have to let go. and i’m not ready. i don’t want you to go yet. i just want to keep you here. but that’s selfish, i don’t want you to be in pain, i don’t want to have you struggling. i just don’t want to let go yet.

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