sometimes I wonder what is so hard for people to understand about depression. I’m not crazy, I’m just struggling.
those who don’t understand seem to think that you are just sad. when it is is so much more than sadness. it’s the feeling of despair, the low self esteem, the helplessness, your self doubt, that voice in your head that when you feel you’re having a good day that you are not going to be okay.
I didn’t choose to be depressed. I may have made some decisions that were not the best but I never wanted to be the way that I turned out to be. I wish that maybe life had been kinder, that my mind had not been faulty. but that is not how it worked out.
I had to learn how to cope with the feelings inside of me. I am getting better, I am recovering. there are still days where I wake up and feel so dark inside, but there are people who bring pockets of sunshine and make things easier.
they say you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. bullshit. I find it so difficult to find anything to love about myself, yet I love my boyfriend, my few friends and my family more than anything in the world. people who support me and are there for me and understand that I’m not always going to be as happy as I can be.
I’m not crazy. I’m struggling. I’m not just sad, there is more to it. just because I’m depressed it doesn’t mean I want to kill myself all the time.